Probabilities

 Much to my chagrin, I am left with no option but to gave in to what he requested.Part of me was screaming wildly summoning my senses to wake up but I was adamant and beyond reason.I just agreed like a puppy to his wishes.Doing things for him has become so natural. It feels so normal and ordinary.I took risks, definitely but I was not thinking of the consequences then.All I know was I love the feeling of being there waiting for him.


 Yet, I had a restless sleep.I was praying so hard for it to come because I felt abandoned after my task was done.Why? He just disappeared. No more messages or calls to tell me if he has arrived home. Was I allowing myself to be used again? But, I am still considering that he was thinking I already knew what I put myself into. Maybe it is now time to stop fantasizing he is different and time to start focusing my attention to real caring people with intention. Charge to experience, I guess. I lost nothing because it is part of loving. One has to face the fact that once we love someone, feeling pain and rejection is a probability.

 It doesn't matter now. I am done feeling pity for myself.Enough feeling like a victim because in the first place, I allowed myself to fall in the wrong person.It was worth a try.Besides, every experience I acquire in my daily encounter with people, I learn..I grow.