Still Searching For The Right Word

Today is the 31st of October.I will start counting the days until the day I will be totally free.I know March is still so far away and seems hazy but staying on the positive side will somehow make this journey easier for me and for the people who truly cares.

Last night, he bugged me again with his drama.I cannot understand why such an intelligent man like him be downsized resembling an imbecile when it comes to emotional aspect.He started telling me lies again. I am sorry but that is how I will see it.

I Know

"The FATE of your heart is your choice and no one else gets the vote"


This sucks.I wish I have someone to blame to for the fate that my heart is in now.Every girl has someone to call her own,right?..But why do we always end up crying?Are we not suppose to have one guy for each one of us?

Tsk..tsk..I want a bottle of beer right now please.

I Want To Forget You

"All I ever wanted is to forget...yet when I thought I had, pictures of you keep emerging in my head like pieces of wood floating up to the surface that reveals the shipwreck below."

He came and he never left.That is what he is to me.There are times that he would fade away in the background letting me decide and stand on my own but when things get real tough, he would swing right in the middle and let his wisdom took over every chaos that comes my way.

Sometimes, promises are made to be hold true and deep within I know he will always be there for me.My Angel, my hero, my strength. 

Despite Everything,I Am Still Thankful You Happened

Blazing Fire,I just wanna thank you for the times that you made me feel great.It is okay.I have accepted my fate.

I Cried For Days

I admit of being emotional.Yes,I did cry for you.I cried when I remember how you look when you are around your subordinates and how cool you look pretending nothing happened between us.Yet,it's over now.You are over.I just don't know how will I deal with this feelings the moment you are already here in the same city.How will I pretend then?How will I assume that you have forgotten me,too?

I Am Human ,Too

I realized it now.I deserve someone better than you.Someone who will stay with me.I am not your puppet whom you will discard the moment the show is over.I have feelings and I bleed when hurt.

Getting Over You

At last, I am so over you!


Looking at your picture which I took from the newspaper clippings, I feel no more pain.


Whew!


Now, I am ready to fly again as an Angel.


Goodbye,Blazing Fire.Thank you for the moments that you made me feel good though they were of advantage on your side,it was still worth remembering.

Congratulations!

July 30,2012
   
 I am done trying to think of the possible reasons why you just went away.No words.No nothing.I used to pride myself of being a keeper of friends.I do keep.It is true.


 But you left.What choice do I have?

You Said We Will Inform Each Other In Case We Run Out Of Emotion

Hello. Kumusta na? Matagal-tagal na rin pala tayong hindi nagkikita. Nasaan ka na nga ba ngayon?

Alam mo, miss na miss na kita. Sobra akong naguguluhan...nalilito...hindi ko na alam kung saan ako patungo. Para bang nawalan ng direksyon ang buhay ko. Alam mo yung pakiramdam na parang nawawalan ka na ng dahilan para bumangon sa umaga? 

                                                          

I Miss Y0u It Hurts...!!!

Is This Goodbye..?

"It is painful to say goodbye to someone you don't want to let go, but more painful to ask someone to stay when you know they want to leave."


Ilang beses mo na akong pinaiyak.Mostly because you never fail to make me feel unwanted.Deep inside I know I am foolish to think you love me a little but how will I tell myself to stop thinking of you..?...To stop waiting..I need to let go of you.


I will.Don't worry, I surely will.Just give me enough time to make my feelings fade away.


Kung tutuusin,di ka naman pasok sa category ng guys ko.Pero nagising na lang ako na ito na ang nararamdasman ko.Ang hirap hirap kaya. Ang sakit.


Sana bukas paggising ko,di na kita maalala,Blazing Fire......

Gaano Kadalas Ang Minsan

Now,I believe what this song means.Fake affection would eventually fade.I know you are good in it but I have forgiven you.After all , it was my fault.I yielded too soon.I was so weak.




Gaano kadalas ang minsan lang ka mahagkan 
'Sindalas na rin ng dami ng bituin, waring walang-hanggan. 
Dahil sa labi ko, lagi mararamdaman. 
Kahit sandali halik mo'y dumampi, minsan. 

Gaano kadalas ang makapiling kang minsan? 
Sa 'kiy 'sindalas ng walang wakas, saglit man magpisan. 
Dahil sa ganoong paraan lang mag-iisa. 
Kung magsasanib ang dalawang dibdib, 'di ba? 

Ngunit kung pag-ibig ay hindi rin lang wagas, 
Mabuti pa, mabuti nga, mabuti ang hanggang maaga'y magwakas. 
Pagkukunwari itago man ay lalabas, 
At minsan kang matuklasan hapdi'y walang kasindalas. 
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/l/la+diva/gaano+kadalas+ang+minsan_20882169.html ] 
Gaano kadalas ang minsan mo akong saktan? 
Kahit minsan lang sa 'kiy para bang walang katapusan 
Gaano kadalas ba ang puso'y namamatay? 
Gaano kadalas, gaano kadalas ang minsan? 

Dahil ang pag-ibig kung hindi rin lang wagas, 
Mabuti pa, mabuti nga, mabuti ang hanggang maaga'y magwakas. 
Pagkukunwari itago man ay lalabas, 
At minsan kang matuklasan hapdi'y walang kasindalas. 

Gaano kadalas ang minsan mo akong saktan? 
Kahit minsan lang sa 'kiy para bang walang katapusan 
Gaano kadalas ba ang puso'y namamatay? 
Gaano kadalas, gaano kadalas ang minsan? 

Gaano kadalas, gaano kadalas ang minsan?

Ambivalent Feelings

Move on,Rachel..


So simple to say..so difficult to do.Why?..It is because I don't want to do that without your formal declaration that you wanted out.That is how I keep my word.

                    

I Was Wrong

It isn't easy being in my shoes.I cannot expect for more.I can only give everything I wanted to offer.


But do I have the immunity to pain and possible heartache?


NO.


I  knew the risk.I was informed.I  had the knowledge.


And so I have no right to complain.

Yeey..!Birthday Ko Ngayon

It is 2 minutes past 1 o'clock in the afternoon...I waited patiently....for your message.


Now, I know what you mean when you said you were just testing me.The realization doesn't hurt anymore.Instead, it empowers me,giving me the courage to accept my fate.After all,LOVE is like gambling.One has to prepare defeat,pain and possible lose of faith.


I loved you.It was enough that you once made me smile,tremble at your slight touch and feel new all over again.It was enough...and at the moment I am typing this I am still hoping you would call.This feeling sucks!

    

Sana Di Na Kita Nakita Pa

 Bakit?Tama ba itong ginawa mo?Bigla ka lang mawawala.Ano ba ako sa iyo?

 Iiiyakan kita simula ngayong gabi.Bibili ako ng maraming beer mamaya.

Are Y0u My B0yfriend?

Who wouldn't want a real one ,anyway?.........Yet, when a guy is playing safe too much it will drive a girl nuts.


So,starting today, keep in mind that you are not a toy.If that guy wants you in his life ,then , he better behave like a real one.

First Love

Camaraderie

"Camaraderie is a feeling of trust and friendship among a group of people who have usually known each other for a long time or gone through some kind of experience together."

July 16,2012


 Dalot finally submitted her resignation letter.


I cried.It was too painful to say a word that I choked.


"You promised me...", I kept repeating.A long time ago, she promised me she will never leave me behind in this company.Yet, she left me now.




Dalot,Jing,Mam Chu, Roy, Ohnie and I are a team.Though we had a couple of arguments,we were matured and professional enough to patch things up.


Maybe I am just being too emotional because I have seen her as my righteous ally.She has been telling me to do good despite  the trials I had been through.